Musing with Max

Musing with Max

January 4, 2012

New Year Resolution rant

I've never been much for making New Year resolutions, maybe back in high school or something but who remembers that? It just seems that people make the same resolutions every year, they somehow want to start a new year by improving themselves cause apparently every past year they've been sub par in several categories and therefore need to promise to...who, themselves, the world, anyone who actually better. The biggest and most popular seems to be to "lose weight" which for the most part seems to get off to a rollicking start. Then a week goes by and roughage and tuna start to get real boring. Then there's always exercising more which in my vocabulary is equivalent to a four letter word. When you're in high school and play sports it's fun but when you're an adult it usually requires machines or running, and frankly the machines are very much like torture devices and the only running I need to do is to catch some public transportation or if a large pissed off animal is chasing me. How about "be nicer and more tolerant of others"; all well and good until you're standing at the express 15 items or less line at the supermarket with a can of tuna and a bag of roughage for your new diet and the idiot in front of you has 15 items but 10 of each which in some weird supermarket rule qualifies for 15 items or less and one item is on sale by a kabillionth of a cent less but the scanner isn't recognizing it which means they need to call all the senior staff to fix it and then to top it all off he pays with a personal check, so there goes that resolution which makes you break the other one that said "I'll stop cursing like a truck driver". I don't have to do these, number one I'm not that nasty where I have to make a promise not to be, (unless the above happens) and I don't know any truck drivers where I can measure my cursing barometer. "Get a better job"...well in my case I'd have to start by getting a job which isn't entirely up to me so I'm not taking the blame. And what's a year anyway? Who says you have to start these "improvements" in January; why not June or August? A year is a good word to put in movie titles like:
The Year of Living Dangerously- When Mel Gibson was good looking and not crazy
The Year of the Dragon-When Mickey Rourke was good looking and not crazy
A Dog Year-with Jeff Bridges who's always good looking and well adjusted
...but anyway in the spirit of the season I've decided I will make some New Year resolutions, non too lofty though:
I resolve to sew back every button that drops off within 24 hours because they no longer fit in my button box
I resolve to change every burned out bulb as soon as I discover it, unless of course I can't reach it even with the step ladder in which case I will pester Frank endlessly until he does it while cursing like a truck driver

I resolve to bake more bread

Portuguese Farm Bread adapted from Epicurious

1 tablespoon active dry yeast
3/4 cup unsifted semolina (durum) flour
1 cup very warm water (110° to 115°F)
3 cups sifted unbleached all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt

1. Combine the yeast, semolina flour, and water by churning 10 seconds in a large heavy-duty food processor fitted with the metal chopping blade. Scrape down the sides of the work bowl, re-cover, and let stand until foamy, about 15 minutes.
2. With the machine running, add half the all-purpose flour down the feed tube. It's easier if you pour the flour from a spouted measuring cup into a wide-mouth canning funnel inserted in the feed tube or failing that, a stiff piece of paper rolled into a cone (the opening at the bottom should be at least 1 inch across).
3. Using a plastic spatula, scrape the work bowl, and if necessary, redistribute the dough so that it evenly surrounds the blade — take care! Add the salt and remaining flour, distributing evenly over the dough, and churn for 10 seconds. Again scrape the work bowl and redistribute the dough.
4. Churn the dough for 20 seconds nonstop, shut the machine off, and let the dough rest in the sealed work bowl for 5 minutes. Now churn for another 20 seconds.
5. Leaving the blade in place, carefully redistribute the dough until it's of uniform thinness. Re-cover the work bowl, keeping the pusher in. Note the level of the dough in bulk, estimate what it should be when doubled in bulk, and mark that level on the side of the work bowl.
6. Let the dough rise in the sealed work bowl until doubled in bulk, about 1 hour. Meanwhile, lightly coat an 8-inch springform pan or 8-inch pie pan with nonstick cooking spray and set aside.
7. When the dough has fully doubled, pulse quickly 4 to 5 times to punch down, then churn for 20 seconds nonstop. Let the dough rest in the sealed work bowl for 5 minutes, then churn for another 20 seconds. The dough will roll into a ball and leave the sides of the work bowl reasonably clean.
8. Turn the dough onto a lightly floured surface, shape into a ball, then roll in the flour to dust lightly. Place the loaf in the prepared pan, cover with a clean, dry dish towel, and set in a warm, dry spot until nearly doubled in bulk — this will take about 30 minutes.
9. When the dough has risen for 10 minutes, position one rack in the middle of the oven and slide a second rack in the slot just below. Place a large shallow baking pan on the lower rack — I use a 15 1/2 X 10 1/2 X 1-inch jelly roll pan — and half-fill with water. Preheat the over to 500°F.
10. Center the risen loaf on the middle rack and bake for 15 minutes. Reduce the oven temperature to 400°F and continue baking until richly browned and hollow sounding when thumped, 20 to 25 minutes longer.
11. Remove the bread from the pan as soon as it comes from the oven, set right-side-up on a wire rack, and cool to room temperature before cutting.

I resolve to heed my husband's request and not play with these two
when they come over because they make Max crazy and I'm only encouraging them.
I resolve to not cover Max with kisses while he's napping on my bed or anywhere else

so as not to wake him and interrupt his much needed slumber

Ooops...there go the resolutions.


  1. Did you resolve to be very amusing in 2012? Cause you're heading that way!

    xo jane

  2. Jane,
    It's the sarcasm oozing out of me...been waiting for the cable guy for 2 days, ugh!