I've been a bit MIA lately, an occasional post here and there which I attributed to a lack of ideas, imagination, God knows what. The truth is my brain has been in an atrophied stage to some extent for the last several months. The job that I raved about in this same forum a couple of years ago turned into a living nightmare starting about a year ago or so due to that lovely corporate word "reorganization". A term and practice that brings nothing but discord, tension & backstabbing. I hoped it would run its course, things would stabilize and we would go back to our lovely little happy selves. A fantasy if ever I heard one. Reorganization means complete overhaul and upheaval. Most of the people I started out with, who I enjoyed seeing every single day and even socializing with, regardless of whether they were company events, were let go or left with only a handful of the originals remaining. They were replaced with badly trained pit bulls and fire breathing dragons with little decency and regard for employees and absolutely no idea what teamwork meant. They didn't last long but the damage had been done, the top brass took on these same qualities. Replacements have been found, they seem like a definite improvement on the first bunch but the atmosphere remains the same and since the company hasn't been doing well the culture is that of fear and trepidation. I never knew when the wrath would fall on me for something as stupid as dropping a paper clip (exaggeration for dramatic purposes). A few months ago while driving to work I experienced what I can only describe as a panic attack, my heart was beating so hard I thought it was going to jump out of my chest and I felt as if I couldn't breathe. Who knows maybe I was having a mild heart attack, either way these symptoms became frequent, daily in fact. I would also wake up in the middle of the night with the same feelings which meant constant sleepless nights. This clearly had to stop.
(gratuitous pic of Max to lighten up a bit)
I started to look for another job but it's hard when you have a job since you need to come up with all kinds of lies to interview. My anxiety escalated, I was in a constant state of panic. This doesn't bode well for...anything. I was miserable, made Frank miserable, looked miserable, you get my drift.
Then this week something glorious happened. I won the lottery! Kidding, I wish. Due to some uncomfortable situations, decisions and trumped up lies I was fired on Thursday. Friday was my last day. In my exit interview HR actually said "you seem 1000 pounds lighter". Yes, I am floating in fact. Driving out of that parking lot was pure ecstasy.
I will take a week to learn how to breathe again. Then its time for a reinvention. That's fine. I am free. While doing that I can spend more time with this little munchkin,
which brings me tremendous joy. I will cook more, garden more, write more (you'll be sick of me).
My first day of full freedom is a rainy Saturday, usually a downer in the Summer, not today. I couldn't be happier. Can't wait for the dreaded Monday!
Did you think I was dead? Understandably. Well I'm not...clearly. Just a bit preoccupied and down in the dumps, my job/company has turned to shit which has me a bit anxious and none too happy, very unlike me, I barely have time to think let alone think of something to write. This too shall pass.
Anyway, we were trying to plan a long weekend and didn't have the mindset to come up with a place so we decided to take a Friday and a Monday piggyback and do some New York stuff, after all it is the greatest city...
First stop, Brooklyn!
I've been wanting to go here forever, finally! A stunning oasis in an urban jungle...
and suddenly I could breathe again. Amazing what nature can do...and food. Lunch?
Hill Country BBQ! at Borough Hall. I never have this stuff, it was delicious. Then home...
We've dodged a bullet this winter for the most part. Balmy temperatures in between a bit of cold and nary a snowflake.
Wait I lie, a light dusting last Sunday which disappeared in a blink. Then early this week they started talking about the impending Nor'easter arriving Friday night. First it was 2 to 6 inches, then it was 6 to 8, then it was 8 to 12, then it was the biggest storm ever arriving towards dawn on Saturday; going and gaining strength throughout the day. The run on the stores for bread, milk and eggs was massive, by Friday morning shelves were empty, if you hadn't gone you were out of luck. I had the wherewithal to go to Trader Joe's on Monday after work and had enough food for a small army, Thursday I bought water and a case of wine. We were set for Armageddon. Even then I was a little leery, last year Mayor de blasio kept warning everyone about "the biggest storm ever" and we had a mere 2 inches. Deja vu all over again. The good thing? It's on a weekend, no need to worry about work.
I got home on Friday evening anxious for our first meal, spaghetti carbonara, make use of those eggs.
Comfort food.
Sat down to watch another episode of Sherlock Holmes, looked out about 11:45 PM, the snow had started to fall.
Saturday morning when Max the alarm clock woke me I looked out at a sea of white, snow falling sort of sideways and a bit of wind. Bundled up wearing Frank's trapper hat (which is really all you need), put Max's coat on and out we went.
It was probably 4 inches or so,
the sidewalk was hard to navigate, the plow had come by so we went on the street,
made it to the corner in the blinding snow, Max wanted none of it, did his business and pulled me home,
couldn't get in fast enough.
The snow and wind intensified as the day wore on, I made chicken soup for an army and charted the snow using the patio chairs,
Saturday, January 23rd, 11:25 AM,
Saturday, January 23rd, 4:34 PM.
Time to start making dinner,
Moussaka and salad. Frank dug up a small trail in the back yard for Max to go through. watched some movie and fell asleep in the raging storm.
Max woke me up at 7:30 AM. I looked out and it had stopped, all I could see was blinding white. Bundled up wearing my high boots, stepped out the back door and stopped in our tracks, there were no steps, tried to push some off so we could get to the trail, it was gone, so were the patio chairs,
the sky is clear as can be with a bright sun, the landscape is breathtaking,
from our little perch on the porch, we looked at each other and went back in. We have 30 inches. Yep, biggest storm ever. Shoveling's going to be fun.
No, I have not fallen off the face of the earth. Guess I'm in a bit of a writer's funk; not a lot comes to mind to write about and as Jennifer had expressed recently, we don't need to get redundant. I suppose I can write daily about everything that I do each day and goes through my mind but I'm nowhere near that interesting so I will spare you. I did want to try and get one more post in before the year ends so here I am wracking my little brain. Let's see what's happened since my last very depressing post, unfortunately some additional depressing stuff which we all know about and I'd rather not dwell on. I've gotten much more political and opinionated this year in this forum than I ever intended to but it's been a trying year so thank you for indulging my rants. I promise not to do so today and focus more on the lighter side of the last month and a half...and of course on MAX,
who spends an inordinate amount of time doing this.
Well the rest of November brought some balmy weather in these here parts which have continued into December, I have yet to wear my coat. Comfortable? Yes. Weird, even more yes. I keep thinking we're going to get walloped big time (please God no), others think we're owed for the last two nightmare winters. Whatever, we will need to go with it. I think everyone talks about weather all the time because it is the one thing we can't possibly control therefore giving us carte blanche to complain, complain, complain.
Since my last post, actually the day before, we went to the theater...saw Al Pacino in a David Mamet play...tried to replicate a memory of a Christmas Eve many years ago, 1984 I think. Al Pacino, David Mamet, American Buffalo, great acting, great play, walked out of the theater to find the streets of New York dusted with beautiful clean virgin snow, perfection! Alas, not this night. Not a very good play I'm afraid, a bit of an overwrought Al, fascinating as always though. The restaurant I picked was, how shall I say this, a dump hole in the wall...and then there was the news from Paris, left us reeling. The evening though has some redemption, before theater we met an ex-colleague from work at one of the coolest restaurant bars in New York, had a great time catching up and just enjoying each other's company, we all actually hated to move on. Life's ups and downs in a matter of hours.
We had Thanksgiving at our house this year,
.
with a few relocated and orphaned friends and then the neighbors stopped by. Goes to show how casual plans usually turn out the best. We had a lovely time, even if my stuffing was too runny, nobody cared.
All of a sudden Christmas was upon us, whew, how did that happen?
I pulled out the nutcrackers for the first time in several years. It felt good to see them again. We spent Christmas Eve at our friends' house sitting by the pool...no there is no global warming! Good thing is I didn't have to wear tights!
Frank gave me the gift of music
where I discovered a song I had never heard before
...or at least didn't remember. I could hear that beautiful voice all day. Frank got the gift of music and letters. His was a Rolling Stone Christmas, the best of the Stones and "Life" by Keith Richards. Who needs another sweater? This will all last forever.
Max has a new friend care of my sister-in-law Marta. Meet Jerry!
He guards him with his life!
And of course I've been cooking!
Portuguese Kale and Chourico soup.
Timpano! Something I've always wanted to make since "The Big Night", my second favorite food movie!
My Mother's special fried rice. Christmas weekend was yummy, I must say.
Tonight we are going out to dinner and a little dancing, toasting in 2016 with grand hopes and good wishes which is what I wish for everyone, but I've got to go now...I hear Roy Orbison calling me a pretty woman!
